I had been waiting for 30 minutes already when one of my students and his mother finally showed up for class. “Is everything okay?” I asked, worried because it was not typical for them to be late. His mother, who looked exhausted already at 9:30 AM said, “I was just trying to get him out the door. I had to carry his socks and shoes in my bag, force him into the stroller, and run out the door because he wouldn’t quit playing with his trains until he had gone through the whole storyline of the video we just bought.”
This situation may sound very familiar because it is altogether too common. In fact, I hear something similar on a regular basis as families work to keep their busy schedules while also working with their child.
Children in general, and children with autism in particular, rely heavily on routine. You may have some routines that you do not even notice. For example, one family I work with used to walk from Union Square back to their home a few times each week. It wasn’t until one Saturday when they decided to stop off at a grocery story a little out of their way, that they realized they took the exact same route home each trip. As soon as their son saw they were turning left instead of right, he threw a tantrum. It was unexpected, and they ended up turning around and heading back home on their usual route. It wasn’t until later that night that they realized exactly what had happened and put in place a plan to teach their son that it was okay to take various routes home. They had inadvertently taught him to depend on a specific routine for getting home each day, and then had to go about teaching him that they could vary the route home.
TIP #1: You need to be in charge of the routines in your house, not your child.
Routine becomes a problem when you are not in charge of it. Sit down with your family and/or therapists to devise what a daily routine should look like. Give each family member specific tasks that must be completed before leaving the house in the morning. Make it detailed. For example, your child with autism may have the schedule: brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast that Dad makes, rinse plate and silverware and put in dishwasher, put socks and shoes on, bring bookbag to the front door. You should not deviate from the routine if there is an event such as a tantrum, but instead calmly remind the child what should be taking place next. If you are going to allow the child to watch television or participate in another fun activity, state a specific length of time that he/she can participate in that activity, and be clear about what must be done before that activity takes place.
TIP #2: The routine should make life easier for your child and for you.
Think about what your child is capable of doing on his own. You want to help him establish independence. Raise your expectations to include independence for tasks your child has mastered. In the example listed above, the child was fully capable of putting on his own shoes and socks. By picking up his shoes and socks for him, his mother was not requiring him to be as independent as he could be. And by making her day easier in the moment, she guaranteed herself harder days up ahead.
TIP #3: The routine should be obvious to both the parents and the child.
This may require a posted visual schedule, and may even require an interactive picture schedule initially so that the child is able to move items to a separate area once they are completed. For quick tips on making a visual schedule, click here. For a detailed account of one family introducing a visual schedule at home, click here. For older children, a visual schedule does not have to include pictures.
TIP #4: Teach your child the routine when it is least important for the process to be successful.
Do not have the initial introduction to a routine be in the five minutes that you are trying to collect all your belongings and rush out the door in the morning. The evening before, introduce the new routine to your child. Have a practice run, where you go through the motions of each step. This also is important if you are introducing a new concept to the routine. For example, if you want to train your child that when I timer goes off it is time to stop watching television, introduce the timer when you have nowhere to go. Once the tv is turned off, provide them with another reinforcing activity such as singing a song with you.
TIP #5: Prepare your child for any upcoming transitions.
This may be as simple as stating, “In five minutes we are going to the grocery store.” For some children, a visual schedule might be the best way to communicate schedule and transition. If you are using a picture schedule, physically interact with it with your child. Bring your child to where the schedule is posted, point out what you’re doing now (i.e., point to the picture of breakfast and say “Right now we’re eating breakfast” or have the child tell you what you’re doing in the moment.) Then point out what is coming up (i.e., point to the picture of a shopping cart and say “In a few minutes we are leaving to go to the grocery store.” or have your child tell you what is coming next.) Do not expect the child to understand a picture schedule without this direct interaction.
TIP #6: Give you and your child time to adjust to the new routine.
Whenever you’re implementing a new routine, you should allow at least two weeks to judge the success of that new routine. If you’re introducing the new routine with a visual schedule, do not introduce the entire visual schedule at one time, but start with one or two steps until you’re child is correctly using it. If you do not see improvement with the use of the routine after a couple of weeks, revisit your plan and try to figure out adjustments that you could make that will address the needs of you and your child. In the end, a good routine should serve to make life easier for both of you.
*This article originally appeared on www.therapeuticresource.com
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